Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
