Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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