i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
