The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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