awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
