Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
do herpes really smell.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
