; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want to make a zoo with you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
