why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize