Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
