I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Be still, my beating vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
