you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
