I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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