We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
