I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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