..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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