i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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