There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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