i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
