he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
