i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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