I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
