Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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