My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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