I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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