Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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