Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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