He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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