what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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