Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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