Sry I called you an 8
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
