mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
