i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
