I love black thongs
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
