exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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