we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
