Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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