I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize