I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
