Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
