Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
