so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
