Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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