ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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