He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
