so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
