Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
