Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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