wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize