it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Drunk walkin through police station. America
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
