If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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