And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
