can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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