Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
