im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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