and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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