She said her name was "party"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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