I need help removing her.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
