shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is wine microwaveable?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
